What do you do when everyone doubts that person you want to date because of his past?

Question from one of my bloggers and an answer by me.......

What do you do when everyone doubts that person you want to date because of his past?
What do you think of a helper dating a member?
If you are a helper does your boyfriend need to have the Holy Spirit?

Dear blogger,

What do you do when everyone doubts that person you want to date because of his past?
You would have to pray about it and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you, think about it using your best judgment with all I have said in this article/post below. It could very well be that this guy is trying to move forward and leave his past behind him. But only time will tell what his true intentions are.

That's why I would personally go with the sign of the Holy Spirit, that's God telling me, "Hey, this guy is Approved by me!"

But its your life, you have to decide what's best for you. But remember, there's always going to be a consequence to the decisions you make. It may be a good consequence if you choose wisely or a bad consequence if you choose with your heart and not your head. But for sure it will be what you will have to live with. So choose wisely......



What do you think of a helper dating a member?
Me personally, I wouldn't want to take the risk, because its easier for a person that is not of God to take you away from God and to make you loose the Holy Spirit, then it is for you to bring that person to God. Though, I have to say that there are also numerous cases in the church that a helper has dated someone with out the Holy Spirit, and things worked out perfectly fine. They've gotten married, had kids and things continue to be fine. In some cases the person in the relationship who didn't have the Holy Spirit, ended up receiving the Holy Spirit along the way.

If you are a helper does your boyfriend need to have the Holy Spirit?
The Holy Spirit is God's precious Gem. He wants to share it with us, but He only shares it with those who He can trust. He only shares it with us because He loves us.

Think of it like this: Lets say you have a priceless treasure in your jewelry box, an Emerald or a Jadeite Gemstone. Its rare, its priceless..... You wouldn't just let anyone hold on to it.
I know if I had something like that, shoot....I wouldn't let No one hold it! It would be safe and hidden away for no one to touch. It doesn't matter how many people I love. I would select those who I would want near my Gem close enough to touch it. I would have to really trust you that, 1) you wouldn't drop it  2) you wouldn't try and take off with it and 3) you wouldn't try and kill me for it.

My point is: The same way if we have something so valuable, we would have to trust the people we let hold on to it. The same is with God. The Holy Spirit is His Gem. He only gives it to those who He can trust. Those who have the Holy Spirit is because God Himself gave it to you. Those who don't have it, is because they haven't gained God's trust yet. Something they are doing, or not doing is what's holding God back from trusting them.

With that said:
If God who is God, doesn't trust that person yet. I wouldn't trust him either!
God sees him where no one else does. God knows what is being done behind closed doors. And if He doesn't approve of this guy with His seal (Holy Spirit), then I wouldn't want anything to do with him. Because that means there's something going on with this person, that God sees and doesn't approve of. It simply means, He's not a man of God. You can only be of God when you have that seal from God, a sign that you belong to Him. That's the purpose of the Holy Spirit, to separate those who are of God and those who clearly aren't of God. That's how you can tell!


"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord" Jeremiah 17:5

Once again. Thanks for the question. And I hope I was able to help....
Your know who you are........

Next question will be answered tomorrow so keep looking out for it!

I Hear you

        I know how it can be to want answers to something that you don't have the courage to ask.
                                                                      OR
                                   to want to ask something but your embarrassed to.

If you have a question about the dating process, please send it to me so I can answer it here on my blog. Chances are, you aren't the only one with that question, most of the time other people have that same question in the back of their head and it goes unanswered because no one steps forward and has the courage to ask.

I'm offering to help.

If I can't answer it, I'll find someone who can...!

Be bold, and Shoot me your questions below in the comment bar. If you want to keep yourself anonymous, that's fine, then send your question directly to my email: elsienleonardo@yahoo.com

whether you email me your question or write it in the comment bar below, I'll hear you, and I'll make sure you get an answer.

I'm waiting on you.............

(If you want to stay anonymous, and you email me your question, I'll put up the question on my blog and answer it, but I'll make sure to not use your name or any personal information)

Who comes in First place?

  

  In your Godly relationship, if the person you are dating is truly of God. They to will be looking out for their relationship, finding the right one and being extra careful not to sin. At this point in your relationship you have been going out for a few months or possibly just about a year or more. You need to prove that you are of God, not only to God but to your partner and even to yourself. “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves…” 2 Corinthians 13:5.

 What do I mean by this? I mean, do all that you possibly can to show that you are serious about making this relationship work. Continue doing what you did to get this person. Don’t stop being spiritual because you already got what you wanted. It’s not all over yet!

   Seek the Holy Spirit with all your heart. Regardless to whether you have the Holy Spirit or not. Continue to seek His presence, you need Him so much. Especially at this time in your life which is so critical. You want to succeed and do your part in this relationship without sinning. So seek, seek, seek and seek. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7: 7-8. Read your bible daily, meditate on His word. In general give your time and effort to God so that He can help you to overcome your flesh.

   Go to church as much as you can, be firm in the church, do as much as you can. Ask your pastor what you can do to help or what is needed. This proves to God that you are ready, that you are willing to do anything for Him to help and strengthen you both Physically/Spiritually and in this relationship. Give your time, energy, love and strength to God. Put Him above anyone. Put Him above your partner. Again PUT HIM ABOVE YOUR PARTNER. This is very important. Many times couples instead of putting God first, they put their partner first and that is completely wrong. It (The Relationship) won’t in any way work. How could it? God is the one that needs to be put first; not another human.

How to put God first:

• By giving Him most of your time, energy and love.

 

• If you are planning to go out with your partner, or speak to him/her on the phone before you have read the bible and seek the Holy Spirit for the day. Hold off on speaking or going out until you have done your daily part with God.

 

• Putting God first is your most important step. Instead of doing something for your partner, do something for God first. Before going out and speaking to your partner on the phone telling him/her how much you love them. First get on your hands and knees and thank God for what He has done for you. Tell Him how much you love Him. As is written our God is a jealous God. ” For I, the Lord your God am a jealous God…” Exodus 20:5.

When should my boyfriend see me without Make-up on?

I think the sooner the better!

 I love Make-Up, but some girls just take it too far. Some women act as if Make -up is their face. They won't be seen for a second without Make -up on, and I think that's wrong.

Make-up was created to give your face a little touch up, to add a little glow or light color to your face. ITS NOT A MASK. I'm sure we all have seen women with so much Make -up on that they look like a clown.

While you're dating, you two are getting to know each other. You two have to be your self as much as possible, that's the only way to see if the two of you are compatible with each other. You don't want to pass the wrong message. The message that your not secure of your natural beauty so you feel you have to wear Make - Up day in and day out to cover your imperfections.

Who's perfect?

Plus, if you are never seen without Make-Up on, If and when you get married with this man. He will see you without Make-up at some point. And it may come as a shock because he never saw you without it and that "Make-up" became your face to him.

So my advise to women who won't be caught dead without Make-up on- Go natural a couple of times. You were born with out Make up on, so believe me, you'll survive.

To those women who won't be caught dead with Make-up on- I'll repeat, Make-up was created to give your face a little touch up, to add a little glow or light color to your face. so use it once in a while. There's nothing worse then to be at a fancy formal event and you're dressed so glamorous and hair fixed, but theirs nothing on your face. Don't get me wrong. This post is not against Make Up. Its just against you being addicted to it to the point that you feel ugly without it.

I always say "Embrace your beauty"

My answer to the controversial topic

Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores? (my responsibility)

Yes, It is ok, as long as he is helping you and not doing it for you. If you are running late or are about to go out and you are held back by a couple of chores, YES, you can ask for a little help. And if he's willing to help, then why not???

But, if he doesn't want to help, that's where it is wrong for you to be pushy and needy demanding for his help. Your chores are your chores, not his. If he doesn't want to help, there is nothing you can do about it and He wouldn't be wrong. This even applies for marriage!

I'm going to give you an example of my husband and I. My husband helps me when I need help; Almost ALL the time. That is a character trait I love about him. It comes naturally from him, whether I ask him to help me or not. Sometimes, he sees me struggling to do or finish something and he offers to help on his own. It doesn't matter what it is. Just between you and me....My husband can throw it down in house cleaning! If we have to move and I'm running up and down getting things ready for the move. My husband almost always starts helping me to clean the house.

My sisters husband on the other hand, doesn't help clean the house when they are moving, but he helps by completely packing his own suitcase. That's one less thing she has to worry about.

I also only know one other pastor that helps his wife. This Pastor/husband would help his wife in anything needed. And never once did I see the wife asking him to help. This desire to help her would come from him. They had a small child, and this pastor would help his wife with things like cleaning, cooking up something simple for them to eat, it was small things, but things that count.

Finding a man that likes to help his woman is VERY RARE. Don't get me wrong. This isn't the husbands job, and not every husband/man does it. Some husbands don't help the wife at all with their chores. And that's OK according to the Bible. The Bible says that all types of house work and to care for the family is a wives job. That's why we can't impose on our man to do our job. But some men like to help their woman, and to me I wouldn't bust his bubble.

Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores?

Controversial topic!

Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores? (My responsibility)

(Chores meaning chores......
A few examples:
1. If you at home with the family for a nice family dinner and your boyfriend came over . If your chore is to wash the dishes, is it ok for him to help you.
2. If you have a responsibility (chore) around the church, is it ok for him to help you with them?
3. .....And the list of chores goes on.... )

I want to hear from you. What do you think?
Is it OK Or not OK and why you think so.
Let me know what you think by commenting in the comment bar below.

I want you all to comment. I'll only make my next post, when is see your comments :)
My next post will have my answer to this question....

Marry or dream of marrying?

Post copied from Mrs. Cristianes website. I found it very helpful and relevant to this blog.
Check out her blog for more on how to be a woman of God
http://www.cristianecardoso.com/en/2013/12/11/marry-or-dream-of-marrying/



I come from a time when girls still dreamed of getting married and building a family. During the engagement period, we wouldn’t just think about the wedding dress and party, but we’d take time to learn how to be a good homemaker and wife. Obviously, many of those young girls are now divorced and some don’t even believe in love anymore, but this does not mean that all are in the same situation…
Today most young people do not dream about getting married, and I don’t think it’s because they want to enjoy life or invest in a career, as many of them say… but to safeguard themselves. There are so many broken marriages, that it’s much easier not to get married and have your heart broken by a dream that faded away. However, they love watching and reading novels; they like the idea of love and fidelity; they admire long-lasting marriages.
The question is: Which one is better, to invest in a dream or to hide it not to lose it and never actually see it come true?
I find it easy to answer this question—and I believe you do too. All of us would rather invest in a dream (even if it goes wrong) than live the rest of your lives wondering what would have happened if we had tried.
The same is true of our love life. The good news is, today things are much easier and marriage should no longer be considered a shot in the dark. There is the Love Talk Show, as well as the Bulletproof Marriage book, to help you avoid problems and prepare you to live your dream.