Couldnt have been said better.....My BEAUTIFUL Mom

THIS COMMENT WAS DONE BY MY BEAUTIFUL MOM ON MY LAST POST. I CAN COMPLETELY AGREE WITH IT.

 

Maria F Borba (Elsie)

Yes, I like the way you stated 2-3 months dating period before the kissing starts.That should give you an idea if you want to continue dating or end it. The fact is, kissing is a physical attraction. To a man/woman of God physical attraction is secondary. His/her inner personality and spiritual level should come first. Remember that God put Adam to sleep before making his wife Eve. That means, you should never choose your other half based on his/her physical appearance. Of corse you should be attracted to the person, but it shouldn't be to the point that it blind folds your spiritual judgement. Like Elsie said, you should be feeling comfortable enough with the person before all the kissing takes place. And the kissing should be lightly, nothing too heavy. Remember, you trying to discover if this relationship is going somewhere the way you want it to, if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. :-)))

 

How to know when she's ready for a KISS ?

THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT THE GENTLEMEN
As soon as you begin praying and liking someone, the first thing to do is speak to your pastor let him direct you because remember his direction comes straight from God.

As you are getting into this relationship and you have been dating your partner for a while now, more or less about a month or two maybe three, depending on your situation, you should go and speak to your pastor and let him know how things have been going and tell him what you think about your partner. Is she spiritual? Is she what you’re looking for in a woman of God? tell him everything that has been going on in your relationship, don’t waste time, just let him know the basics, the main point on what the two of you have been talking about. where you have been taking her out too, and so on. Let the pastor know exactly how you feel about her. If you think it is the appropriate time and you feel as if she is ready, ask the pastor if this would be an appropriate time to kiss her. But if you are in constant communication with the pastor, you won’t even need to go to the pastor and ask when the appropriate time to kiss your girl is, he will be directing you daily into this relationship. But don’t be anxious.

   “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Take your time, get to know your lady, make her comfortable to be around you and visa versa. Make sure she’s still not nervous because imagine trying to give her a kiss when she’s still nervous to even hold your hands.... Think about it

 

Use this time wisely to make your lady comfortable, make her comfortable enough to laugh in front of you, to eat in front of you, to stare you straight in the eyes without being shy. Be smooth and work your way to her heart, win her over. Make her melt every time she hears your name, be such a gentlemen that she can’t resist. In addition, continue working with your pastor to find the appropriate time to kiss her.

 

Take your time, one step at a time, don’t try to rush things. Don't act all desperate, because God does not work like that, he does not bless when you are anxious. There is a time for everything. Communicate with your pastor and when you think the two of you are ready, ask your pastor if its the right time to kiss her. But until then work on your relationship so the two of you aren’t nervous anymore and are comfortable with each other.

 

Your pastor or bishop should always be involved in your relationship, from the beginning. After God, he should have been the first to know that you have been praying for God to bless your sentimental life. And to know that you are looking for someone.

LADIES

After you meet your partner, stay in communication with your pastor and his wife, let them know how everything is going and seek more guidance, if you have any questions you may ask your pastor or his  wife.

Is it OK for ladies to show interest on a date?

I have another question from one of my bloggers:
Is it wrong to kiss when dating?

My answer:
No, it is not wrong to kiss when dating. But there are guidelines to follow when kissing. Also, there has to be a purpose to the kissing. All of the details about KISSSING while dating will be in a post coming soon. So please keep coming back and be on a look out for it.
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    Ladies, talk to your partner. Tell him everything you like about him and say it with interest to show him you mean it. Enjoy your date, have fun and get to know a lot more about each other. When the date is over, gentlemen, if possible walk your lady to the train station or take her home but that's it. Later on that day or the next day when you call each other, talk about your date and how much you enjoyed it. What was your best part of the date? Ask your partner what was their best part of the date? Talk and show your interest for the next date. Don’t forget to pray and to still tied up all evil around you and your partner. Never stop praying, always ask God for his protection over the two of you. In fact before and after each date you should always pray together and ask God to direct your date so everything can go better then expected, so God can protect the two of you from sin so nothing wrong can happen.

   Never go somewhere where there are few people, always be surrounded by people so nothing wrong can be done between the two of you (don’t trust your flesh). You don’t necessarily have to be around people you know, but make sure people are around. This is to prevent problems for your relationship remember: “.....to obey is better than sacrifice.....For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry…” 1 Samuel 15:22-23 (NKJ).

 

    Keep doing this, keep going on these kinds of dates, make it a habit. Call each other everyday if possible, go on fun dates in well populated areas, hold hands until you get used to it. Ladies after your partner makes the first move on holding your hands, its ok for you to do it after, on the next dates whenever you feel like it. It is just more appropriate for him to do the first moves since he is the gentleman. Just show him your interested and let him do the rest, this way he will feel confident enough to make the needed moves. This is a typical date and should stay this way until further notice.

   On the mean time, enjoy each other’s company by talking and having fun getting to know your partner. See if there are still things you do not know about each other and find out, keep talking and asking questions, there is always something new to learn about in your partner everyday.

 

  

Could it be that this immaturity idea is getting in my head?

A Question from one of my bloggers.
Random Angie:



A grown man licking his tongue at someone.
If that's not immature, I don't know what is!

" I also have a question in regards to when would you consider someone is ready for marriage? I'm 23 and at times I think I might be too immature for it still. I grew up an over protected child but I know I still have a lot of learning to do. And The Holy Spirit is helping me grow day by day.
Even my parents say I don't act my age. I like to laugh and joke. That's just my personality.
Yet not with my spiritually. They see the seriousness in that. My salvation is my priority.
Could it be that this immaturity idea is getting in my head?
You mentioned you and your sister were only 12 when you both began praying for your love life.
Is there a certain guide to know you are ready?
I do want to find that man that God chose for me but at times I think I might have some growing to do.
I guess just the results of being so overprotected growing up. I am praying to God to help me be more independent but nonetheless I want to hear from you."

A police officer, men of respect, just doing a little dance
in the middle of the street.
Immature!

Hello Random Angie and thanks for the question.
First let me start of by saying; Marriage takes hard work.
I don't think you could ever be perfectly ready enough for marriage. But yes, there are steps you can take to help you in the process. It depends in what country you are in, but here in Texas, U.S.A they have what is called 'Marriage course' for those who are married and for those who want to prepare for marriage. Also there is the book "Bullet proof marriage" coming out soon by Bp. Renato and Mrs. Cristiane Cardoso. This is a must read whether you are married or not. It will help prepare you for the work ahead.....

Now, lets talk about your immaturity!
Angie, I honestly believe that for you to become mature, you have to be put in a situation that will make you become mature.
Maturity can not be learned or practiced. It comes with life's experiences, it comes with responsibilities.
Time and time again, my sister and I were constantly being called immature. And this is even after we got married, because we too grew up overprotected and spoiled rotten. I remember trying so hard not to be immature and I was still immature in peoples eyes. Until I said to myself, you know what, I'm not going to be worried about what people say. I am going to do my part and have my relationship with God, and as time goes by, God will mold me.

That's exactly what happened!

Maturity comes with you having responsibilities. And as life goes by you get more and more mature. But, it would help if you take a long hard look at yourself and see what are things you can change in you to make you more of God. Like if you notice people are always talking about how loud you laugh. Then that's something you can change due to the fact that that's not being discreet as the bible mentions we must be. Ask yourself, what are responsibilities you can take and go after so you can be able to grow in maturity?

Yes.....I do think you are over thinking this maturity thing
Maturity comes through experiences Angie.
How are you going to become mature, if you don't get to learn any experiences of your own in life ??? Experiences such as marriage!

Again, Thanks for the awesome question

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I look forward to hearing from you soon.

God Bless

Elsie

GENTLEMAN.....Make a move

By this time, the two of you should have already been on a few dates and exchanged phone numbers. You should already know a lot about your partner, now its time to break the ice. Call your partner everyday if possible, ask when is the best time to call. Speak to him/her for a few minutes everyday until your next date, there is nothing wrong with calling everyday, in fact this should be done to get you two comfortable with each other. Make conversation, a dialogue with the two of you talking and not just one of you talking the whole time. Make this a habit because this is what is going to be going on everyday until the two of you get
married. Conversation helps you stay in touch with what is going on in each others life daily and it also helps you two fall in love a lot quicker. It’s almost like being on a date everyday. If you both are in the same church and you see each other everyday, then that’s ok, if you have time during the day to talk, then talk. But if your working hard and only have time to say a quick Hi, for a short time then that’s not considered talking, so you should call each other at the best time and talk for just a few more minutes. Ask how was their day, what new things did they learn from the bible, talk to your partner and tell him/her that you were thinking about them and can’t wait to see him/her, and so on. Show your excitement and interest towards them.

GENTLEMAN

this time take your lady to a better place such as the movie to see a comedy or action. Talk to her during the week and converse with her on where she would like to be taken on the next date. Ask her to prepare a little snack and take her to the park for a little picnic. Go to a simple amusement park where there are roller coaster rides or to a local fair. This time, make the move to hold her hands. Start of slow. She may probably start to giggle and become shy, but that’s a good thing as long as you are the one making the moves. Hold her hands first. Make that a routine thing to do in public. Bring her close to you and hold her hands. That's about all for now. Don't rush into things....First just hold her hands.

As always, hold the doors for her and let her go first, make her feel like a princess. Tell her how beautiful you think she is, tell her what you like about her like her hair or her eyes, her feet, her hands, her arms, her personality, the way she laughs etc, whatever you like about her, now is the time to let her know.

Dump a person just because of a difference in taste???

   The reason why we tend to First look at things in our partner that we dislike, is because we get nervous. We know that this is something that will affect us for the rest of our lives. Therefore, we start trying to protect ourselves by judging the one God chose for us.

   Don’t worry, God has everything under control. You will fall in love. Maybe the same thing happened when your partner first set eyes on you. Everything will work out just fine. God has a plan for all of us. He chose your partner for you and you for your partner. If you still feel nervous about it, pray, ask God to help you trust in Him, ask Him to help you fall in love and to stop looking at what you don’t like but to help you look at what you do like. Because physical attraction is also very important.

   As mentioned before, prayer brings the result to everything. Maybe the type of clothes your partner likes to wear is not the type of clothes you like for him/her to wear, but he/she is a sweet person and very handsome/beautiful. Are you going to dump that person just because of a difference in taste.

Of course not!

   Style is something that can always be altered but it’s not always that you can find such a sweet person full of the Holy Spirit. Later on into the relationship, pray, then little by little you can talk to your partner about it and because the two of you will be so much in love he/she will start to change just for you and it would be more of a pleasure then an obligation for your partner to do this for you.