How to get my man's attention?

Women can be soooo needy!

In general, women tend to always want attention from their man. We want time spent on us by receiving all the 'I love you's and the pampering. But we also want time spent with us; All the time.

At times we can seem selfish and un comprehensive. Most of the times a man won't understand why his woman is so needy, always asking for attention. We women sometimes just don't get it! Sometimes it just doesn't click! And we become that nagging woman.
NO ONE wants a nagging woman!
This is the number one reason he may be avoiding you. Nagging is a complete turn off for men.

My man

This month I decided to do something a bit different. I decided to "cater to my man". I made more of an effort to give my darling husband all of my attention. Because what happens is sometimes we focus only on what we want and we don't look around us to what he wants or needs to be done. So I decided to give my husband the upmost attention this month. I made his favorite foods, I ironed ALL his clothes for him to be able to pick from. I always had the house clean and organized so that when he came home the house was a cozy spot "Home sweet home" Everything right down to the dog! I would dress him all up and brush him and make him look all cute for when my husband came home. 

Chicken & Broccoli served with brown rice

Chinese chicken & Broccoli

My dog
'Snowball'

I went out my way this month to show my husband how much I cared. And in return, he automatically gave me his attention and care. This is the key to your man's heart ladies!

Cater. To. Your. Man!
And in return, he'll cater to you!

You only get one chance to make a first impression

  

Your appearance in general and also whilst dating is extremely important. Why? Because it represents you, it represents who you are. Appearance is very important, have you ever heard of the saying “You only get one chance to make a first impression.” It is true, because if someone sees you for the first time and you look horrible, for example if God sends you the person of your dreams and you meet for the first time how would you look? If you look horrible and are not well dressed, smelling good or looking nice, you could probably miss your opportunity because in reality no one likes or feels really attracted to someone who isn’t well presented or in other words presentable (Looking nice). Especially a man/woman who is just meeting you. We always have to look our best not just for someone else but for God as well because remember our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

My sister and I used to dress very well before getting married, we tried very hard to always look our absolute best at all times because my mental motto was. “I never know exactly, what day it will be when God blesses me and sends the man of God in my direction.” Or “I never know what day or time I will meet the right man for me.” So we used to walk around well presented all of the time.

   Our Husbands Of Faith   (H.O.F) came to us in a seemingly surprising way; especially for me. I didn’t even know that I would be meeting my H.O. F , the answer to my  prayer on a regular day when I was just visiting another U.C.K.G branch. This day turned out to be a day I'll never forget. Being well presented at all times is the key. As I said, I used to always dress up well, it helped me a lot in my search for finding not only a man of God but also for someone who would end up being my (H.O.F). It worked I found him. But after finding him and getting married I tried to continue always looking nice but it just seemed as if time wasn’t enough to add on the extra house chores I had to now do, plus to take care of my appearance as before. Come on I used to spend about 1 ½ to 2 hours every morning just to get ready to leave the house. So I just stopped taking care of myself.  But after a few months and as I was slowly neglecting my appearance all of a sudden one day it clicked.

   I (with a little help from people who mean a lot to me) realized that appearance is not only before I get married or before I find my (H.O.F), but it is a life long necessary thing. It helps me feel better about myself, raising my self – esteem and also my (H.O.F) will  always be pleased when he looks at his wife. I started making time for my appearance, doing my daily chores and if needs be, waking up a little earlier or going to sleep a little later in order to fix myself up. Taking care of my skin, nails, eyebrows, hair and every other part of my body. This is something that I learned and I intend to keep this lesson in my treasure box for the rest of my life because it is something wise. So from experience I tell you, it is not only important to take care of your appearance just to find true love but also to keep your true love. To put a block on the devil trying anything in your marriage. This message applies both for men and women.

  Come back this week, I will jot down a few simple guidelines of How To keep a good general appearance for both men and women, who need appearance/ beauty tips or ideas. 

Get Rid Of It

Dear Blogger:

 If you think all the good women/men in this world are taken then think again! Have you ever heard that saying, 'There are A LOT of fish in the ocean'? Well, there are!

If you haven't found your other half yet, then maybe its time you work on 'you' first before looking for your partner. How do you expect someone to love you and care for you? How do you expect to be so happy in your love life if you aren't happy in your own skin? How can you expect someone to love you if you don't even love yourself?

 No matter what your complex is, get rid of it by not allowing yourself to lean on the excuse of this or that. GET RID OF IT  pray and ask God to help you get rid of these nasty complexes.  

   God is perfect and He created each and every one of us in His split image. He knew what he was doing!  “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father…” James 1:17 (NIV).

What's my Complex ? (7)

• Complexes about your background – Your background is your background. Its your past, it's behind you, it’s done and over with. You can not do anything to change it, all you can chose to do is to move on with out it affecting you and weighing you down. Your background is what helps you in the future not to commit the same mistakes again. Or it can cause your downfall! You are the one who decides the outcome. You can look forward, be positive, and learn from your past mistakes. Or, you can keep thinking about your past and beating yourself up about it, being negative all the time and thinking that you can't go nowhere in life or achieve anything Great, because you have this bad background. Always bringing the past with you to the future. 

Sometime we need to learn to just let Go!

Suck it up, learn from your mistakes, hold your head up and move on!!!

What's my Complex? (6)

Complexes about your weight – Some people who say that they are overweight or underweight aren’t even as bad as they think. 


Besides, who gets to decide what is the right weight for women and men??? 
Who has the authority and power to decide on the right weight we should be at. Last I checked, no one on this universe has that answer. Of coarse we should always strive to look our best and be as healthy as possible. But don't allow society to tell you that a size 4 or 6 is the only size you should be or else your fat. Don't allow society to tell you that if you aren't buff with a six pack then you aren't a man. 

The right weight is the one you decide on! When you look in the mirror and love what you see. When you are healthy, and energetic. Wheter that weight is 250lbs or 130lbs, you are the one who decides what is right for you. Not Society! There are a lot of men out there that love a heavier woman, same way there are a lot of  men who love a skinnier woman. There are a lot of women out there that love a muscular man with a nice six -pack, same way there are a lot of women who love the spare tires or the love handles. 

You get to decide who you want to be, and you work hard to get there. If you see that for you to reach your own personal goal weight you are currently under weight, try drinking 'ensure' to help you gain some weight, Eat more often and foods that contain a bit of fat, hit the gym and gain some muscle (Muscles weigh). Speak to your doctor to see how you can gain weight and still be healthy. If you are a bit overweight then do the exact opposite, speak to your doctor about how you can loose weight the healthy way. See a nutritionist, hit the gym at least four times a week and do cardio and fat burning exercises. Eat less often, eat low fat or even fat free foods, exchange the starches on your plate for more green veggies.If you would like to be more toned.... The only way is by hitting the gym like a beast and lifting weights and doing crunches and push ups etc. Muscles don't come by you just sitting there desiring it.

Either way  there is still a person out there who would love you in the weight you choose to be best for you; Except without that, Hmm! (Lets call it a) Stinky Complex.  Get rid of this weight complex by choosing your own personal goal weight and working towards that. Don't stop until you get there.

How to get my man's attention?

Women can be soooo needy!

In general, women tend to always want attention from their man. We want time spent on us by receiving all the 'I love you's and the pampering. But we also want time spent with us; All the time.

At times we can seem selfish and un comprehensive. Most of the times a man won't understand why his woman is so needy, always asking for attention. We women sometimes just don't get it! Sometimes it just doesn't click! And we become that nagging woman. 
NO ONE wants a nagging woman! 
This is the number one reason he may be avoiding you. Nagging is a complete turn off for men.

My man

This month I decided to do something a bit different. I decided to "cater to my man". I made more of an effort to give my darling husband all of my attention. Because what happens is sometimes we focus only on what we want and we don't look around us to what he wants or needs to be done. So I decided to give my husband the upmost attention this month. I made his favorite foods, I ironed ALL his clothes for him to be able to pick from. I always had the house clean and organized so that when he came home the house was a cozy spot "Home sweet home" Everything right down to the dog! I would dress him all up and brush him and make him look all cute for when my husband came home. 

Chicken & Broccoli served with brown rice

Chinese chicken & Broccoli

My dog
'Snowball'

I went out my way this month to show my husband how much I cared. And in return, he automatically gave me his attention and care. This is the key to your man's heart ladies!

Cater. To. Your. Man!
And in return, he'll cater to you!

What's my complex ? (5)

• Complex about age – Some say ‘I’m not a spring chicken anymore.’ I’m well over my marrying years, no one will want me now; I’m too old. I have an entire head of gray hair. I’m in my 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70's. Or I’m too young I cant find true love now because no one will take me seriously, I’m too young to be happy and find true love. You wonder, how can you find true love when you're getting older and older each year and everyone now a days is looking for young love. You fear you won't be able to find someone compatible to you.

As you can see in the pic above, Love can come to anyone who put's their complexes aside. Even if you are in your 90's.

What's my Complex? (4)

• Complex about nationality – Some complexes are because of the person’s nationality. Some people think no one will like me because I am African or Latin, Caribbean or Asian, Greek or European, Egyptian or Indian. I'm not as pretty Beyonce because I'm not black. I'm not as handsome as Channing Tatum because I'm not white. No one will want me. As ridiculous as this may sound It’s true! I know someone who thinks just like this. Sometimes this even creates low self esteem because you don't think people from other nationalities will like you.

What's my Complex? (3)

• Complex about background - Some people’s complex is the lifestyle they use to live. They're mentality is ‘no one will ever fall in love with me because of my background’ "if they find out about my past they won't want to be with me." 'I was married before and my marriage failed' or "I am pregnant or I have a child/children". 'I did some bad things in the past', "I am incapable of keeping a relationship", 'I've been single for so long.....and so on

What's my complex? (2)

• Complex about weight - Others have complexes about their weight, its either I weigh too much or I weigh too little. I need to put on some weight because I am disappearing, or I need to loose weight before it becomes dangerous for my own health. "I'm too fat and nobody will love me" or "I'm too skinny  and all people see in me is bones"

Stop by tomorrow for "What's my complex? (3)?

What's my Complex?

One thing I've noticed, is that many people are hindered or held back from finding true love because of their own complexes. I have seen with my own eyes and have known people that could have been or could still be blessed in their love life but they aren’t. Not because the devil is blocking their love life but instead it is because of their own complexes that they impede God from blessing them or giving them the man or woman of their dreams. These people need to seriously (Get Rid of their complexes). If they don’t they will remain single forever and will never be able to go forward in life. In all aspects especially in their love life.

   People I have known have complexes in many different ways,  there are many different types of complexes that exist. I will name a few:

• Complex about appearance - some people’s complex is the way they look whether it is their hair, eyes, nose, lips, hands, feet, body shape, ears or anything else they can imagine. They have a general complex about the way they look. Their thought is ` No! I have nappy hair, or my hair is too short  or too thin and brittle. My eyes are too wide apart from each other or too close together. I’m too black or too white. I have a big, crooked or flat nose, my lips are too big or I have no lip its just a line. My hands and feet are so small or too big, I have no figure or I have too much of a figure. I’m too short or I’m too tall, my ears are too small or too big. My head is an awkward shape or every other complaint about their appearance imaginable.

come back tomorrow for the next complex thats out there !

24 hours in a day

   Don’t slow your role, because you know have someone. Instead keep going, doing more for God. But as necessary with all things have a balance. Don’t spend all your time with your partner that you don’t have time for God, but also don’t stay in church all day that you end up not spending time getting to know your partner better. Find time for everything. There are 24 hours in a day, enough time for it all.  No matter how busy you are, you just need to balance it out.  In the Bible a wise King called King Solomon once wrote about this subject; read (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8). By doing all of these things your partner will see in you a strong character, one that represents the Almighty God you serve. This will only put more of an assurance in his/her heart that you are of God.

   When His light shines in you, it is impossible to be covered. “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven.” Matthew 5: 14 – 16 (NKJ). By seeing your goodness or good deeds, your partner will praise God for having you. But in everything you do, do all things for God and not for men. “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,” Ephesians 6:7 (NIV).

   Do these things yes because they are necessary, but not to show off to men what you are doing and supposedly how great of a person you are. Not to show your pastor, your friend, your current girlfriend or boyfriend not to show to anyone, for credit. The credit of anyone in this world is not worthed, compared to the rewards of God. Doing that for physical praise is pride, and pride is not of God, so be careful. Do it with a sincere heart of a humble and true servant who wants to glorify God in Spirit and in Truth. 

How to understand women, especially when she's on her period?

Know when to leave your girl alone, and what to do in that time of the month for your girlfriend or wife.

Most women are sweet, loving, caring, tough, hard working and more. But there is always going to be one week out of 4 that you need to know when to leave your girl alone. You need to know exactly what to do and how to react to avoid arguments or her mood changes.

A women's Menstrual cycle, also know as period is a phase in a women's life that causes a change in the female reproductive system. Her hormones are all over the place. While this change occurs, to most women, it causes agonizing pains, stomach cramps and so much more. Although men will never be able to understand the pain a woman goes through on her period, you can still be understanding about it and try to put yourself in her shoes. Annoying enough, some men tend to think their girlfriend/wife is a bit exaggerative or is calling for attention when she is referring to her stomach cramps. Although, each woman is different and the symptoms may vary for each woman.

Here is a list of what your woman goes through on that time of the month. Maybe this will help you put yourself in her shoes:
*AGONIZING STOMACH CRAMPS
(some woman may just feel  annoying cramps and slight pain, whilst most woman feel excruciating, paralyzing stomach punches)
*NAUSEA
(Some women throw up, whilst others have a change in appetite)
*HEAD ACHES
*SORE BODY
(Some women feel sore ALL over, whilst others feel sore in certain areas)
*FATIGUE
(At this time of the month, women are loosing blood, and lots of it. Think of it as when you have to give blood. If you loose too much blood you feel faint or even have to be asked to lay down for a bit)
*BREAST TENDERNESS
(A woman's body is going through changes. Breast tenderness is the most common pain felt by women in this time of the month)

These are just a few common things women go through on their period. Most woman go through this same thing every day for about a week. If you put yourself in a woman's shoes, you'll understand why she gets so cranky, mad, annoyed, exhausted, tired, and sometimes down. The first day of her period is always the worst. While all this is going on, it's really hard to grab a hold of yourself. It's possible, but extremely hard. That's why you men can help.

Things to do for the woman in your life while she's on her period:
*BUY HER CHOCOLATE
(Although chocolate is not the best thing to eat while a woman is on her period, caffeine causes more cramps. But no woman wants to hear that....Give her, her chocolate)
*BUY HER A TUB OF HER FAVORITE ICE-CREAM
(Just get it for her! And don't even think about reminding her to watch the calories)
*WHAT EVER SHE IS DOING, TRY AND HELP
(I know you can't be there at work with her, or you can't be with her the whole time. But do as much as you can to take the load of her shoulders. You aren't the one with pain and feeling lousy, she is. Do things like, wash the dishes, carry heavy things for her, see what you can help her with, even if it is a part of her job)
* OFFER TO BUY LUNCH/DINNER
(Don't be insensitive. Buy Lunch/ Dinner for you and her. That way she doesn't have to cook while she's feeling lousy. If you know how to cook, then now is the time to get in the kitchen. Remember, get something that she feels like eating. Her appetite may be a bit off)
*SHE NEEDS TIME TO SLOUCH ON THE COUCH
(Encourage her to leave work and go straight home, make sure she has everything she needs to just slouch around on the couch. Watching her favorite TV shows and eating her chocolates and ice-cream)
*SHE MAY NEED PADS
(Yes, she may need pads. Sometimes you will need to run a stop to the store and get her some. Don't worry, most men have to end up buying pads for their girl at least once)
*PAIN KILLERS
(If she's in too much pain, give her some Motrin or Advil. Most women will deny the pills because she thinks she can take the pain. But try to convince her to take one or two)
*BE THERE FOR HER
(Her hormones are all over the place. A hug now and then means a whole lot. A kiss says a lot. Cuddling up couldn't feel better then it would at this time)
*SHE NEEDS TIME TO HERSELF
(Don't be too needy, she can use some time alone. That helps her understand herself and de-stress. That way she won't blow off on every one that crosses her path)

Get to know your woman, even if you still dating. Find out what you can do to help her. I advise you to find these things out before her period comes, so when it comes (Which it will, every month for years and years, so get use to it) you'll know exactly what to do and how to handle it.

Or even if you don't have a girlfriend yet. Now you know how to tell when a woman is on her period and what she is going through, so just help her out or leave her alone.

Women, I advise you to send this post to your man. That way he can learn what you need and when you need it.

Men, let me know if this was helpful to you!
Ladies, let me know if I'm missing anything!

BREAKING NEWS...Treat yourself to a Make-Over (Men)

Men need Make-Over's too. You need to look and feel at your best. Some men only walk around with Jeans, T-Shirt and sneakers everyday. That gets old!

Have you ever heard the saying 'Dress for the occasion'? Every where you go is a different occasion. If you are going to church, that calls for formal wear. Going out with friends, then yes....Wear your jeans. My point is; Men need to look good too. No woman wants a man with a manicure so overdue, that his cuticles are so long they overlap his actual nail. Women also don't want a man that dresses poorly and wears jeans everywhere he goes. Women want men that is masculine but also takes care of himself.

Yes men, you too could treat yourself to a Make-over, you'll be surprised how relaxing this will all be for you. These are great methods to relieve stress as well. Whether you are single, dating or married. Try them out!

Men treat yourself to a Make-Over:

* Take a day off of work.

(Work is not the only thing that matters. There are other things out there worth your attention too)

* Go to a spa for a massage

(You'll be surprised at how many men go to the spa for a massage)

* Get your nails done

(Every nail salon has men manicure and pedicure. Men have nails too, and your cuticles grow just as much as women's do. I know tons of men who get their nails done. Tons...)

*Buy cologne and WEAR it.
(So many men don't wear cologne, one thing that draws a women's attention, is a man that smells good)

*Get that unibrow taken care of

(I am against men doing their eyebrows. Most of the times when they do it, it looks to feminine. But, ...boy oh boy... Some guys have one connected eyebrow. That's not OK. Go to the salon and have them just remove the unibrow. Nothing more)

* Find out what your occasions are, and dress for the occasion.

(Quit wearing jeans and sneakers everywhere. Change it up a bit, and you'll surprise yourself on how you look)

* Then go out for a nice night out with your girlfriend or on a romantic date with your wife. 

This Make-Over will feel rejuvenating, relaxing and make you feel good about yourself. You may think these ideas are absurd. Or that no men do these things. But you are so wrong. To the contrary most men do at least three or four things from this list on the regular. So you won't be the only one. Believe me!

For tips on how to take care of yourself properly and what to wear

go to  http://hairfashionandbeauty.blogspot.com/

Appearance is important! To you and to those around you.

If you invest in yourself every morning before you step out the house, you'll look great and feel great.

When you don't treat yourself right, or fix yourself up, people can tell, it's written all over you. By the clothes you just found hanging around the room and just threw on. It's noticeable!

Again, Appearance is important! To you and to those around you.

Treat yourself to a Make-over (Women)

Some times you just need to treat yourself to a Make-Over.

In our day to day life we go through so much stress, something makes us mad, or sad. We get tired, feel exhausted, and not to mention how miserable we feel during our menstrual cycle. And sometimes all these day to day stresses cause us to have low self-esteem.

For you to be happy with your partner, you need to first be happy with yourself.
If you are single or dating, even if you are married
Treat yourself to a Make-Over:
* Take a day off just for you
* Go to a spa for a relaxing massage
* Make an appointment to get your hair done (try something new)
* Have a professional make -up artist do your make-up
* Get your nails done
* Buy a new dress
* Then go out for a nice night out on the town with a couple of friends (leave the kids with a baby sitter)

You'll see how rejuvenating this feels. How relaxed and good you'll feel about yourself. You'll see how beautiful you are inside, but also on the outside. You just need to give yourself the investment and make an effort to be and feel beautiful before you walk out the door every morning. If you say, "I'm broke, I can't afford to have a Make-Over" that's not true.

Free version to Treat yourself to a Make-Over:
* Take a day off just for you
* You tube 'How to do a facial' and 'How to do a leg massage' These are two massages you can do on yourself and for free
* Do your own hair. Take the time to treat and condition your hair properly and do a different hair style
* You tube video's on 'How to properly apply make-up' and learn how to do your own make-up
* Do your own pedicure and manicure at home......YES Paint your nails, clear is not an option!
* Choose out your best dress in the closet
* Prepare a nice dinner at home and invite a couple of close friends over to have girls talk and sing karaoke

For tips on how to take care of your hair, do your make-up and dress fashionably, go to  http://hairfashionandbeauty.blogspot.com/

Appearance is important! To you and to those around you.
If you invest in yourself every morning before you step out the house, you'll look beautiful and you'll feel like a million bucks. Plus, those around you won't stop commenting on how beautiful you look. Sometimes what holds a woman back from getting the right man, is her low self-esteem. If you don't treat yourself right and don't consider yourself to be a beautiful jewel, how will any man see that in you?

When you don't treat yourself right, or fix yourself up, people can tell, it's written all over you. By your same boring hairstyle everyday, by the clothes you just found hanging around the room and just threw on. You never wear make up, you never fix your nails, much less paint them. It's noticeable!
Again, Appearance is important! To you and to those around you.

In search of the right person...by Renato Cardoso

Taken from www.renatocardoso.com author of 'Bullet-proof marriage' I loved this post, and found it would be helpful to you.
This website has some good incites on dating and on marriage. Check it out...

In search of the right person

There are so many myths and lies in the world of relationships that it’s no wonder people have suffered so much in this area. One of these myths is the idea of the “right person.”

“Why are you still single?”
“I haven’t found the right person yet.”
Ring a bell?
The idea that there is only one right person in the world which perfectly fits with another is the reason why many people are still single, while others are unhappy in their marriage.
Single people dream of the person that will fulfill all the requirements on the list they idealized.
Married people fight a battle against their doubts, which question if they married the right person. After all, they have so many problems.
This idea, however, is not plausible mathematically, logically, or spiritually.
Mathematically the numbers add up. Statistics show that there are more single women than men. If we were to compare the number of single men to single women in the world, presuming that your perfect match is somewhere out there, someone’s going to be alone, like in musical chairs.
Logically it doesn’t make any sense. If a newlywed wife loses her husband in an accident and becomes a widow, does that mean that now there’s no point in her looking for anyone else to marry because the “right person,” the only one who could make her happy, died?
Spiritually there’s no biblical basis to this. If Eve was the “right person” for Adam then God made a mistake. It’s interesting that when God created woman, he described her as a “helper comparable to him.”
When the apostle Paul mentioned if a Christian woman becomes a widow, he said “she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39) That is to say, not only does she get a second chance but she is also free and responsible to make her own choice — as long as the person is of the same faith. So where does that idea that there is only one right person in the world and the fantasy that God is the one who chooses the person we’re going to marry?
The truth is that we’re responsible for our choices. God gave us intelligence to identify who is compatible and who is not. And He institutes rules to produce a happy relationship. Break them, and there isn’t a “right” person in the world that will make you happy. The key to a happy marriage is not to find the right person; it’s to do the right things.
Do the right things to find a person who is compatible with you.

• Expand your circle of friends
• Choose with your head and not your heart
• Allow yourself to begin a friendship
• If things go well, begin to date with the intention of getting to know the person better (not to go to bed with them)
• If when you get to know everything about the person and see living with them for the rest of your life would not work, nip the relationship in the bud, with no remorse.
• If you see the fundamental qualities you need, then move forward to the engagement and then marriage

It is not magic, luck or a miracle. It is an act of intelligence.

P.S Of course, if you already read Bullet-Proof marriage, you already know this.
 

Can I move in with a guy who promised to make me his wife?

I apologize for not posting in a while.....I know you have been patiently waiting :)
I have been receiving numerous questions to be answered from bloggers, once again, thanks for being bold and sending me your questions.

As always, I will make sure to remain anonymous as I post your question and answer it here on my blog

Bloggers question:
"Can I move in with a guy who has promised to make me his wife? He has given me a ring, so we just need to set a date to get married. Can we have sex?"

Dear bloggers,
 The answer to your questions are short and simple. Also straight to the point.
No, you should not move in with you boyfriend even if he promised to get married to you. If he proposed to you and gave you an engagement ring, then he is your fiancé now. But fiancé does not make you a married couple yet. You need to show him that you want to follow the right morals, that you want to do things the right way.

In the Bible it says:
'It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband'
1 Corinthians 7:1-2

If you guys want to have sex, then get married. If you want to move in with each other, then get married first. Most men make so many promises first, just to have sex, then you sit around waiting for that marriage that you've always dreamed off and most of the times, it doesn't happen.

Before getting married you have to see if the two of you are the right fit. Do you love him? does he love you? Are the two of you financially established? can he support you as a man? Is God in first place ? If so and you are desperate to move in and have sex, then get married this week. If he promised to make you his wife and you want to move in together, then get married immediately. That way you won't sin in lust for each other. But, if you say, no, we aren't financially ready for a marriage, he's not ready to get married now, or visa versa. We still getting to know each other.......then wait! Get everything in order first, then get married.

Moving in with each other and having sex is something you do when you are married. That is a big deal before God. Sex is becoming one with your mate. How are you going to have sex and become one, when your marriage hasn't even been presented to God?

So my answer to your question is NO! No you should not move in with your fiancé until you get married first, and NO you can not have sex until you get married. Sex is to be preserved for your husband/wife, and since you aren't married yet, then you should wait until you do get married.

I hope this answer was helpful to you. You know who you are......

Again, Thanks for the question

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God Bless

Elsie Da Silva

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Thanks

P.U.S.H

I'm bringing P.U.S.H back!

P -pray
U -until
S -something
H -happens

You want to find Love - P.U.S.H
You want to be happy - P.U.S.H
You want to feel protected, loved and cared for - P.U.S.H

You would be surprised on what prayers can bring you!

Tip of the day

   Don’t slow your role, because you know have that special someone. Instead keep doing more. Don’t spend all your time with your partner that you don’t have time for God. But also don’t stay in church all day that you end up not spending time getting to know your partner better.

Find time for everything. There are 24 hours in a day, enough time for it all.  No matter how busy you are, you just need to balance it out; Have Balance.  In the Bible a wise King called King Solomon once wrote about this subject; read (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8). By doing all of these things; If done with a sincere and true heart of a servant. Your partner will see in you a strong character, one that represents the Almighty God you serve. This will only put more of an assurance in your partners’ heart that you are of God.

 

 

 

 

Is sex before marriage the only way that the devil can trick you?

Question from one of my bloggers, and an answer by me

Hello Mrs. Elsie,

My questions are about the process of dating. There are a lot of assistants who, even after praying to God for their love lives, end up falling into a trap of the devil.

I want to know two things; after praying, how can we tell if he/she is really the one that God made especially for us? If the person is already dating their partner, is sex before marriage the only way that the devil can still trick them into messing up or are there other physical boundaries before marriage?

Thank you Mrs. Elsie :-)

Dear blogger:
1)God made someone for you, Trust in HIM. When you have the Holy Spirit, God shows you exactly who suits you. When that man/woman of God approaches you, you will know right away that this is the one. As long as you have a relationship with God, God has got your back....

2)The devil is dirty. He's always going to try and find a way to make you fall into his trap. Whether you are single, or married. He will always try and find a way. In a relationship, you have to always be on guard. When you are dating, the only things you pretty much can't do is touch each other inappropriately and have sex. So you can be absolutely SURE that those are the things the devil will tempt you with. You have to outsmart the devil!

for more info, read my other post 'KISS.....But do not touch'

Thanks for the question

I Hear you

KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING!
        I know how it can be to want answers to something that you don't have the courage to ask.
                                                                      OR
                                   to want to ask something but your embarrassed to.

If you have a question about the dating process, please send it to me so I can answer it here on my blog. Chances are, you aren't the only one with that question, most of the time other people have that same question in the back of their head and it goes unanswered because no one steps forward and has the courage to ask.

I'm offering to help.

If I can't answer it, I'll find someone who can...!

Be bold, and Shoot me your questions below in the comment bar. If you want to keep yourself anonymous, that's fine, then send your question directly to my email: elsienleonardo@yahoo.com

whether you email me your question or write it in the comment bar below, I'll hear you, and I'll make sure you get an answer.

I'm waiting on you.............

(If you want to stay anonymous, and you email me your question, I'll put up the question on my blog and answer it, but I'll make sure to not use your name or any personal information)

I need a Man

Question from one of my bloggers and an answer by me:

I have been disappointed in the past and deep down I don't want to be hurt again, I just want to be loved. I will put my spiritual life first. If a man isn't direct with me I usually get turned off simply because I am a mature person with kids. I am beyond the silly, giggly don't know what to do or say phase. I don't even know what's love anymore

 

 

 

Dear blogger:

I understand your point completely and I agree with you. But I do want to say that love is suppose to be fun. Its suppose to allow you to be yourself, and flirty and have fun with your best friend. You can't allow yourself to be so serious to the point that you don't have any fun. 

 

I am with you when you say you want a straight forward guy or else you get turned off. I agree, that turns on any girl.

But, what if I told you that while dating, my husband put aside his seriousness to talk to me and get to know me. But, after we got married, he acted as if he already conquered what he wanted and he went back to being so serious all the time. And to me, that's a turn off because it was like he was cold towards me. All because of his seriousness. 

I didn't like that. It turned me off. But I loved him so I helped him by always talking to him and pointing out every time he would be cold towards me. Or when he would act so serious to the point that it didn't feel like we were in a relationship. It felt like we just worked together. We had lots of problems in our marriage until I realized that love is suppose to be fun. Its suppose to make you feel those butterflies in your stomach. Its suppose to allow you to be giggly and YES, even act a bit silly sometimes. Your partner is suppose to be your best friend (after God of course). After a while of helping my husband with what I called 'his flaw' he now is a whole lot better. He's still working on it, because that's just his personality. And yes, sometimes I still have to point out to him a thing here or there. But I will give him credit because he changed! Soon I won't need to point it out anymore. He'll get it on his own. Love takes work, but its an investment that pays off.

Again, I do agree with you. I think men need to Man up and Speak up. But some men could use a little help at it. However, If you find yourself having to always take the lead, then Run away from that, because we women need a MAN, not a boy.

How do I get a guy to ask me out?

 Question from one of my bloggers and my answer:

What do you do when you notice someone watching you?  When you get up close the person closes up to you. This has happened more than once to me. I don't understand men very much. I was married now I am divorced. He was unfaithful. Why are these men studying me but lack confidence to talk to me? I am just waiting for a real man with courage to come forth. I thought maturity come with age, these men are older but I don't see that. I am very easy to talk to and get along with. Why have I not been able to find love?

 

Dear reader:
Each man is different, they all have their own character and personality. For example, My man he is very serious and calm. But when we were dating or when he wanted to date me, he pushed that aside to get to know me. Not all men are like that.

Men were made with the hunting instinct, they naturally go after something they want. That comes natural to them. So I would say to you, if you notice a man watching you, or you hear he likes you. Let him come to you. If he really likes you, then whether he is a shy guy or not, he will have to man up and come up to you to ask you out or risk you slipping through his fingers. It would be his loss.

I personally don't think its right for a woman to go up to a man and say "hey, I like you, can I get your number so we can talk sometime" or " Can we go out". That's his job. If he cant find a way to put aside his shyness or, serious demeanor to get what he really wants, then he's not the man for you. That can even cause problems through out the relationship, (if you ever get into it) because he won't play his role as the man of the house. The leader of a family. That is serious stuff.



You can't walk around like this

But, if you know he really likes you, go up to him and just discreetly present yourself to him. Make friends with him, not because you think or know he likes you. I'm not saying ask him out, I'm just saying, make friends with him, let him see that your not this scary person. Do things like Go up to him every time you see him and say Hi, talk to him a bit, just to break the ice. Then you will be helping him to come up and ask you out if he likes you. If he doesn't take that step in asking you out, then he may not be that man for you.

We women, want to feel safe and protected by our man. We need to know that he's got our back, that he's gonna put his foot down when needed and show leadership. We don't say it, but we like when our man leads us. So don't stress. Do your part and God will do his.

After all, He did say "its not good for  man to be alone". 

I hope I was able to answer your question.
You know who you are

Note: Scroll all the way down to read my first couple of posts on how to find that right man of God. Check out what I did and what you can do too to find this Man God has for you.