Saturday, December 28, 2013
When should my boyfriend see me without Make-up on?
I think the sooner the better!
I love Make-Up, but some girls just take it too far. Some women act as if Make -up is their face. They won't be seen for a second without Make -up on, and I think that's wrong.
Make-up was created to give your face a little touch up, to add a little glow or light color to your face. ITS NOT A MASK. I'm sure we all have seen women with so much Make -up on that they look like a clown.
While you're dating, you two are getting to know each other. You two have to be your self as much as possible, that's the only way to see if the two of you are compatible with each other. You don't want to pass the wrong message. The message that your not secure of your natural beauty so you feel you have to wear Make - Up day in and day out to cover your imperfections.
Who's perfect?
Plus, if you are never seen without Make-Up on, If and when you get married with this man. He will see you without Make-up at some point. And it may come as a shock because he never saw you without it and that "Make-up" became your face to him.
So my advise to women who won't be caught dead without Make-up on- Go natural a couple of times. You were born with out Make up on, so believe me, you'll survive.
To those women who won't be caught dead with Make-up on- I'll repeat, Make-up was created to give your face a little touch up, to add a little glow or light color to your face. so use it once in a while. There's nothing worse then to be at a fancy formal event and you're dressed so glamorous and hair fixed, but theirs nothing on your face. Don't get me wrong. This post is not against Make Up. Its just against you being addicted to it to the point that you feel ugly without it.
I always say "Embrace your beauty"
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
My answer to the controversial topic
Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores? (my responsibility)
Yes, It is ok, as long as he is helping you and not doing it for you. If you are running late or are about to go out and you are held back by a couple of chores, YES, you can ask for a little help. And if he's willing to help, then why not???
But, if he doesn't want to help, that's where it is wrong for you to be pushy and needy demanding for his help. Your chores are your chores, not his. If he doesn't want to help, there is nothing you can do about it and He wouldn't be wrong. This even applies for marriage!
I'm going to give you an example of my husband and I. My husband helps me when I need help; Almost ALL the time. That is a character trait I love about him. It comes naturally from him, whether I ask him to help me or not. Sometimes, he sees me struggling to do or finish something and he offers to help on his own. It doesn't matter what it is. Just between you and me....My husband can throw it down in house cleaning! If we have to move and I'm running up and down getting things ready for the move. My husband almost always starts helping me to clean the house.
My sisters husband on the other hand, doesn't help clean the house when they are moving, but he helps by completely packing his own suitcase. That's one less thing she has to worry about.
I also only know one other pastor that helps his wife. This Pastor/husband would help his wife in anything needed. And never once did I see the wife asking him to help. This desire to help her would come from him. They had a small child, and this pastor would help his wife with things like cleaning, cooking up something simple for them to eat, it was small things, but things that count.
Finding a man that likes to help his woman is VERY RARE. Don't get me wrong. This isn't the husbands job, and not every husband/man does it. Some husbands don't help the wife at all with their chores. And that's OK according to the Bible. The Bible says that all types of house work and to care for the family is a wives job. That's why we can't impose on our man to do our job. But some men like to help their woman, and to me I wouldn't bust his bubble.
Yes, It is ok, as long as he is helping you and not doing it for you. If you are running late or are about to go out and you are held back by a couple of chores, YES, you can ask for a little help. And if he's willing to help, then why not???
But, if he doesn't want to help, that's where it is wrong for you to be pushy and needy demanding for his help. Your chores are your chores, not his. If he doesn't want to help, there is nothing you can do about it and He wouldn't be wrong. This even applies for marriage!
I'm going to give you an example of my husband and I. My husband helps me when I need help; Almost ALL the time. That is a character trait I love about him. It comes naturally from him, whether I ask him to help me or not. Sometimes, he sees me struggling to do or finish something and he offers to help on his own. It doesn't matter what it is. Just between you and me....My husband can throw it down in house cleaning! If we have to move and I'm running up and down getting things ready for the move. My husband almost always starts helping me to clean the house.
My sisters husband on the other hand, doesn't help clean the house when they are moving, but he helps by completely packing his own suitcase. That's one less thing she has to worry about.
I also only know one other pastor that helps his wife. This Pastor/husband would help his wife in anything needed. And never once did I see the wife asking him to help. This desire to help her would come from him. They had a small child, and this pastor would help his wife with things like cleaning, cooking up something simple for them to eat, it was small things, but things that count.
Finding a man that likes to help his woman is VERY RARE. Don't get me wrong. This isn't the husbands job, and not every husband/man does it. Some husbands don't help the wife at all with their chores. And that's OK according to the Bible. The Bible says that all types of house work and to care for the family is a wives job. That's why we can't impose on our man to do our job. But some men like to help their woman, and to me I wouldn't bust his bubble.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores?
Controversial topic!
Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores? (My responsibility)
(Chores meaning chores......
A few examples:
1. If you at home with the family for a nice family dinner and your boyfriend came over . If your chore is to wash the dishes, is it ok for him to help you.
2. If you have a responsibility (chore) around the church, is it ok for him to help you with them?
3. .....And the list of chores goes on.... )
I want to hear from you. What do you think?
Is it OK Or not OK and why you think so.
Let me know what you think by commenting in the comment bar below.
I want you all to comment. I'll only make my next post, when is see your comments :)
My next post will have my answer to this question....
Is it OK for my boyfriend to help me around with chores? (My responsibility)
(Chores meaning chores......
A few examples:
1. If you at home with the family for a nice family dinner and your boyfriend came over . If your chore is to wash the dishes, is it ok for him to help you.
2. If you have a responsibility (chore) around the church, is it ok for him to help you with them?
3. .....And the list of chores goes on.... )
I want to hear from you. What do you think?
Is it OK Or not OK and why you think so.
Let me know what you think by commenting in the comment bar below.
I want you all to comment. I'll only make my next post, when is see your comments :)
My next post will have my answer to this question....
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Marry or dream of marrying?
Post copied from Mrs. Cristianes website. I found it very helpful and relevant to this blog.
Check out her blog for more on how to be a woman of God
http://www.cristianecardoso.com/en/2013/12/11/marry-or-dream-of-marrying/
I come from a time when girls still dreamed of getting married and building a family. During the engagement period, we wouldn’t just think about the wedding dress and party, but we’d take time to learn how to be a good homemaker and wife. Obviously, many of those young girls are now divorced and some don’t even believe in love anymore, but this does not mean that all are in the same situation…
Today most young people do not dream about getting married, and I don’t think it’s because they want to enjoy life or invest in a career, as many of them say… but to safeguard themselves. There are so many broken marriages, that it’s much easier not to get married and have your heart broken by a dream that faded away. However, they love watching and reading novels; they like the idea of love and fidelity; they admire long-lasting marriages.
The question is: Which one is better, to invest in a dream or to hide it not to lose it and never actually see it come true?
I find it easy to answer this question—and I believe you do too. All of us would rather invest in a dream (even if it goes wrong) than live the rest of your lives wondering what would have happened if we had tried.
The same is true of our love life. The good news is, today things are much easier and marriage should no longer be considered a shot in the dark. There is the Love Talk Show, as well as the Bulletproof Marriage book, to help you avoid problems and prepare you to live your dream.
Friday, December 6, 2013
My twin
I know this has nothing to do with "HOW TO DATE GOD'S WAY", but today is my twins birthday. And part of who I am today is because of her.
Happy Birthday!
You are the best birthday gift I could ever ask for, a life long gift that keeps giving back.
I love you so much!
But you already know that!
I love the fact that we share everything together. You are always a part of me and I love you for that. Your my other half. No one else can really say that because their not identical twins.... We share a special something that no one could understand. I'm such a part of you as you are a part of me.
Life as I know it wouldn't be the same if I didn't have you to share it with.
I love you my twinny twin twin. And I'm so glad that we share everything from our face to our birthday. It couldn't get any better than that.
Happy Birthday Mana
I Love You................
Happy Birthday!
You are the best birthday gift I could ever ask for, a life long gift that keeps giving back.
I love you so much!
But you already know that!
I love the fact that we share everything together. You are always a part of me and I love you for that. Your my other half. No one else can really say that because their not identical twins.... We share a special something that no one could understand. I'm such a part of you as you are a part of me.
Life as I know it wouldn't be the same if I didn't have you to share it with.
I love you my twinny twin twin. And I'm so glad that we share everything from our face to our birthday. It couldn't get any better than that.
Happy Birthday Mana
I Love You................
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
What areas are forbidden?
In the bible
tithe represents the first fruit, it is ten percent of everything that comes
into your hands, it is the first thing that you give to God for Him to protect
the other ninety percent that you have. In the beginning, even Adam and Eve had
to give their tithe, their tithe was not to touch the tree in the middle of the
Garden of Eden, but they were allowed to touch and eat the fruits from all the
other trees. However, they robbed God and touched the forbidden fruit, look what
happened to them. God became angry and threw them out of the Garden of Eden
where everything was so perfect, all because of their disobedience. By you
giving your tithe, God gives you prosperity. It is clearly stated in the bible
that the tithe belongs to God and if you refrain from giving your tithe it is a
sin and your financial life will be a mess/destroyed. By not giving your
tithe, you are considered to be robbing God. “Bring all the tithes into the
storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,"
Says the LORD of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to
receive it.” Malachi 3:10 (NKJV). In this dating relationship the tithe is your
bodies.
For the woman, the
tithe is not to touch your boyfriend’s two private areas in anyway, which is
from his waist down, front and back (You know the two areas, stay away from there). These two
things belong to God for now until you get married. If you disobey you will
suffer the consequences. Don't be dumb to rob God.
For the men, the
tithe is not to touch your girlfriends three private areas in anyway. These
areas are her breasts, and from her waist down also, front and back. (You know these three
areas, so stay away). Don't be foolish to try to mess with God, the
consequences are fatal. It’s worth the wait, if you both are really in love
then you won’t hesitate to wait a little longer to be able to touch your husband/wife
anywhere you would like for as long as you would like when the two of you get
married.
Remember this
is only the ten percent, there is still ninety percent you are allowed to do,
you can still kiss, hug, share food and drinks, hold hands, massage each others
calves and feet, touch each others face and rub each others arms, play with
each others hair, talk, talk, talk ....... But no touching in the forbidden areas. When you give this
ten percent of your body, God will protect the other ninety from being taken
away. Obey and God will bless,
“…Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice…” 1
Samuel 15:22 (NKJ).
If you
disobey you will end up loosing your partner and most importantly your salvation,
which your partner isn’t worth no matter how much you love him/her. Be wise and
help each other out because it’s difficult. When you have money and you have to
separate your tithe its hard but if you make it a habit and remind yourself
about its meaning and the blessings that will come from it, then its not a
problem, you end up doing it with pleasure. Same thing with your relationship,
get a custom to giving tithe in your relationship and wait for the right
time to be able to do all of these things that you aren’t able to do right now.
Occasionally talk about it to your partner, reminding him/her about this covenant
with God so it will not be broken. If this vow is difficult for you, then pray
about it and ask God to help you and give you patience and self-control.
WHY???
Why can't we touch these areas at all?
The reason these areas can not be touched until marriage is that if these areas are touched then sex is at the door breaking in an entry. Once these areas are touched the spark between you gets heavier to an uncontrollable level, no matter how much you try to control yourself, when these areas are touched, its over. You can no longer hold back, it’s uncontrollable. That is when marriage comes in. But until then, KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!!!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Follow by email
Do you like this blog? Is it helpful to you? If so, take the time to write your email in the Follow By Email section on the right hand side of this blog. That way you can receive these posts everyday in your email, straight into your inbox. Don't miss out on this opportunity to read inspirational posts daily and a way of knowing how to properly date. 'God's way'
Have you read the older posts? Go check it out and take advantage of all the features that this blog has to offer. Have any questions? Has anything on this blog helped you to open your eyes when it comes to finding the right person? You can also feel free to email me at elsienleonardo@ymail.com Let me know what you think, email me your questions, or let me know how this blog has been helping you. Everything will remain confidential!
I look forward to hearing from you.
God Bless
Elsie Da Silva
Side note: When you type your email into the 'Follow by email' section. You will receive an email from 'Feed Burner' that email has to be opened and you have to authorize "How to date God's way'" to send you direct emails. NOTE, it is very necessary for you to keep a look out for that email and to authorize the blog. Otherwise the subscription won't be completed.
Thanks
Sunday, November 24, 2013
TITHE in a relationship?
Amen! The two of you have now been sealed into a relationship that will end in marriage if you continue doing everything the way you're supposed to.
Now, kissing is the biggest part of your relationship. When you go out you may kiss, when you meet up with your girlfriend/ boyfriend you may kiss and so on. Woman, after you have received your first kiss, you may now make moves to kiss your boyfriend whenever you feel like it. He will actually like it for you to make moves of your own in an effort to kiss him since in the beginning all the pressure was on him to make all the moves. But now it’s ok for you to kiss him when you feel like it, or hold his hands and so on. Try your very best to be discreet while kissing, you don’t want to kiss in the middle of the church hall with everyone looking at you. That would be disrespectful to everyone around you. You don’t want to be in front of people kissing while everyone is looking at you. It is hard to be discreet when you cannot be alone with your partner, but for now, that is how it has to be so “…sin is not lacking…” Proverbs 10:19 (NKJ). Kiss, but do not go overboard, too much of anything is not good. For now because you aren’t married yet so until then hold your emotions back a little. Kiss, but moderately, and with self control, respect and discretion.
Respect your body for it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. In a dating relationship you must give the tithe of your body, this tithe goes on until the day the two of you get married. NO TOUCHING!! until the two of you make a vow on the altar of God to love, respect, and cherish each other, mainly to serve and glorify God with your lives for as long as you shall both live. Tithe is very important in this relationship. This type of tithe goes until the day the two of you get married. Again, NO TOUCHING! This is the most important thing. When you fail in this; you have lost God’s trust and will lose your partner
Most importantly, you will loose your
salvation. PAY ATTENTION! This is the main purpose of this blog. The main
reason why many Christians dating have lost their partner and their salvation.
When
the two of you begin kissing, there is a spark between you, a spark that feels
good and every inch of your body wants to go further. But, you must gain control
over yourself and rebuke it from going any further than just kissing. If the
two of you are kissing and you feel as if you are not capable of holding
yourself any longer, then speak to your partner and refrain from kissing a
little while until you can gain control over yourself again. Now is when you really
have to start dating in even better populated areas. This spark becomes
stronger and stronger and harder to control. This spark is called love. You are falling in love and
it’s a good thing but very dangerous. Listen carefully to when your partner says
‘I think we should stop’ or if you feel you are kissing a little too much, then stop yourselves for a while
then go back later. Your partner isn’t going anywhere he’s/she’s
yours. Take a break from kissing every few minutes; try to talk more
than you kiss.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Kiss but DO NOT TOUCH!
A little advise;
Don’t worry if you don’t know how to kiss, I didn’t, neither did my sister, we never had a boyfriend before, Leo was my first just as Damien was my sisters first. As you kiss you learn. When its your time to kiss, make it your own experience. Each kiss is unique, the best thing about kissing is that you learn as you go. When a baby is born, they have to learn how to walk and talk, they aren’t born running and talking already. The same thing with you. Kissing is all about learning, you learn from each other. If your partner has been in relationships before and knows how to kiss, then that’s fine, he/she will be able to teach you.
Hug your partner and kiss anyhow, try different kisses. YES even French kissing. Just be careful because prolonged kissing leads to other things. Try to avoid French kissing or at least rarely do it. It is between you and your partner now, make your own thing, be unique with each other. Have fun, but just be careful for nothing wrong to happen be around people, not necessarily people you know, but be somewhere where you know you wouldn’t do anything stupid, like on a train, or in front of the house, in a park, at a game, at the mall, somewhere. Kiss but DO NOT TOUCH!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
My first Kiss
In my case, I was living with Leo's parents for a little while so I can get to know him. Leo did not live with his parents, he lived elsewhere. So, since I was from Massachusetts, 4 hours away, I needed somewhere to stay as I got to know Leo. I had come from MA to NY just to get to know him. So I stayed at his parents house and began working as a secretary for the church whilst I dated.
One day I was leaving church when Leo had just arrived. For some unknown reason he happened to forget to give his dad something, so he made a mission to go out of his way on his trip back. He was coming to his parents house to bring to his dad what he had supposingly forgotten to give him just fifteen minutes ago.
I guess I was the only one who did not know Leo was going to stop by. As we got home, I sat down in front of TV and began watching a movie with a big bowl of frosted flakes cereal in my hands. Fifteen minutes later I see someone very familiar at the door, I was a little surprised asking myself “what is he doing here?” but then I realized him giving something to his dad so I said “oh, ok”. But after he gave his dad what he came to give him, he stuck around a little longer. He sat by me in the living room and began watching the movie with me and talking to me asking how I was doing.
(Just in case you're asking "were you guys home alone?" The answer is NO....His entire family was home. His dad, mom and loving sister. His sister was in the bedroom getting ready for bed because it was getting late. His dad was also in his room getting ready for bed, and his mom was in the kitchen finishing up with dinner)
Leo and I were just chilling in the living room watching a movie and me, trying to finish up my delicious bowl of Frosted Flakes.
Then..... Leo asked me if I liked him and I said yes. I actually looked him in the eyes and said “It’s kind of hard for me not to fall in love with you when you are so sweet”.
BOOM !!!!
Before I could finish my sentence, I received my very first kiss. He had looked me back into the eyes and went straight for the kiss without hesitating. He just went straight for it.
I'm glad he went straight for it because I was extremely shy. I couldn't see myself doing those slow motion kisses, when you know its coming. I would probably giggle my way out of it. So him going straight for it, was the right call.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Now can we KISS ???
To be able to kiss your partner is something very special.
Gentlemen, when you kiss your lady, this
is a seal of your relationship, it tells your lady that you’re in love with her
and you’ve truly found your soul mate. This is why you cannot rush things, you
can’t just kiss her because you think her lips are beautiful or because you
want to experiment kissing. NO! Until this point you were only talking, when
you kiss, then it seals this relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend, as sex is a
seal of marriage. Once the two of you have kissed you are officially dating and
are boyfriend/girlfriend, before you kiss you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, you
are just friends getting to know each other. After you have kissed, you are
boyfriend/girlfriend seeking a lifetime relationship that will be sealed
through marriage. So, don’t rush things. Gentlemen, when you’ve spoken to your
pastor and your pastor gave you the ok to kiss your girl, then that means its
ok by God for you to kiss your girl, in this way it wouldn’t be considered a
sin.
The reason why we’re addressing all the
moves to the gentlemen, such as holding hands and especially kissing is because
this job is for the man, for a woman to take lead and grab her partners hands
when going out for the first time is too bold and should be avoided. Especially
kissing, a woman doesn’t just go and kiss her partner on the lips first, that’s a no,
no. The gentleman being a man is the one to make that move, this is part of his
masculinity, his ego. So be patient, pray and wait on him also, Both of you should keep your
pastor informed on your relationship at all times.
Gentlemen when you are certain that you like
this woman and you intend to take things further in this relationship, then you
can kiss but it is always best to inform your pastor of your plans just to
avoid the devils traps. After that is when you make your move. Find
the right time to kiss her when there are not much people around. It can be on
your next date or if you can find a way to think of something you could do to
see her that day then do it. If you want, you can wait until the next date and
kiss her hand to see her reaction first before you actually kiss her lips...
Just
avoid being completely alone. Make sure there are at least a few people around to
prevent the two of you from sinning.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Couldnt have been said better.....My BEAUTIFUL Mom
THIS COMMENT WAS DONE BY MY BEAUTIFUL MOM ON MY LAST POST. I CAN COMPLETELY AGREE WITH IT.
Maria F Borba (Elsie)
Yes, I like the way you stated 2-3 months dating period before the kissing starts.That should give you an idea if you want to continue dating or end it. The fact is, kissing is a physical attraction. To a man/woman of God physical attraction is secondary. His/her inner personality and spiritual level should come first. Remember that God put Adam to sleep before making his wife Eve. That means, you should never choose your other half based on his/her physical appearance. Of corse you should be attracted to the person, but it shouldn't be to the point that it blind folds your spiritual judgement. Like Elsie said, you should be feeling comfortable enough with the person before all the kissing takes place. And the kissing should be lightly, nothing too heavy. Remember, you trying to discover if this relationship is going somewhere the way you want it to, if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. :-)))
Saturday, October 26, 2013
How to know when she's ready for a KISS ?
THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT THE GENTLEMEN
As soon as you begin praying and liking someone, the first thing to do is speak to your pastor let him direct you because remember his direction comes straight from God.
Your pastor or bishop should always be involved in your relationship, from the beginning. After God, he should have been the first to know that you have been praying for God to bless your sentimental life. And to know that you are looking for someone.
As soon as you begin praying and liking someone, the first thing to do is speak to your pastor let him direct you because remember his direction comes straight from God.
As you are getting into this
relationship and you have been dating your partner for a while now, more or less
about a month or two maybe three, depending on your situation, you should go
and speak to your pastor and let him know how things have been going and tell
him what you think about your partner. Is she spiritual? Is she what you’re looking
for in a woman of God? tell him everything that has been going on in your
relationship, don’t waste time, just let him know the basics, the main point on
what the two of you have been talking about. where you have been taking her
out too, and so on. Let the pastor know exactly how you feel about her. If you
think it is the appropriate time and you feel as if she is ready, ask the
pastor if this would be an appropriate time to kiss her. But if you are in
constant communication with the pastor, you won’t even need to go to the pastor
and ask when the appropriate time to kiss your girl is, he will be directing
you daily into this relationship. But don’t be anxious.
“There is a time for
everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and
a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time
to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to
laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time
to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a
time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a
time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a
time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Take your time, get to
know your lady, make her comfortable to be around you and visa versa. Make sure she’s still not
nervous because imagine trying to give her a kiss when she’s still
nervous to even hold your hands.... Think about it
Use this time wisely to make your lady
comfortable, make her comfortable enough to laugh in front of you, to eat in
front of you, to stare you straight in the eyes without being shy. Be smooth
and work your way to her heart, win her over. Make her melt every time she
hears your name, be such a gentlemen that she can’t resist. In addition,
continue working with your pastor to find the appropriate time to kiss her.
Take your time, one step at a time, don’t try to rush things. Don't act all
desperate, because God does not work like that, he does not bless when you are
anxious. There is a time for everything. Communicate with your pastor and when you think the two of you are ready, ask your pastor if its the right time to kiss her. But until then work on your relationship so
the two of you aren’t nervous anymore and are comfortable with each other.
LADIES
After you meet your partner, stay in communication with your pastor and his wife, let them know how everything is going and seek more guidance, if you have any questions you may ask your pastor or his wife.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Is it OK for ladies to show interest on a date?
I have another question from one of my bloggers:
Is it wrong to kiss when dating?
My answer:
No, it is not wrong to kiss when dating. But there are guidelines to follow when kissing. Also, there has to be a purpose to the kissing. All of the details about KISSSING while dating will be in a post coming soon. So please keep coming back and be on a look out for it.
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Ladies, talk to your partner. Tell him everything you like about him and say it with interest to
show him you mean it. Enjoy your date, have fun and get to know a lot more about
each other. When the date is over, gentlemen, if possible walk your lady to the
train station or take her home but that's it. Later on that day or the next
day when you call each other, talk about your date and how much you enjoyed it.
What was your best part of the date? Ask your partner what was their best part
of the date? Talk and show your interest for the next date. Don’t forget to
pray and to still tied up all evil around you and your partner. Never stop
praying, always ask God for his protection over the two of you. In fact
before and after each date you should always pray together and
ask God to direct your date so everything can go better then expected, so God
can protect the two of you from sin so nothing wrong can happen.
Keep doing this, keep
going on these kinds of dates, make it a habit. Call each other everyday if
possible, go on fun dates in well populated areas, hold hands until you get used to it. Ladies after
your partner makes the first move on holding your hands, its ok for you to do it
after, on the next dates whenever you feel like it. It is just more appropriate
for him to do the first moves since he is the gentleman. Just show him your
interested and let him do the rest, this way he will feel confident enough to
make the needed moves. This is a typical date and should stay this way until
further notice.
Is it wrong to kiss when dating?
My answer:
No, it is not wrong to kiss when dating. But there are guidelines to follow when kissing. Also, there has to be a purpose to the kissing. All of the details about KISSSING while dating will be in a post coming soon. So please keep coming back and be on a look out for it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never go somewhere where there are few people, always be surrounded by
people so nothing wrong can be done between the two of you (don’t trust your flesh). You don’t necessarily have to be around people you know, but make sure
people are around. This is to prevent problems for your relationship remember: “.....to
obey is better than sacrifice.....For rebellion
is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry…” 1 Samuel 15:22-23 (NKJ).
On the mean time, enjoy each other’s company by talking and having fun
getting to know your partner. See if there are still things you do not know about
each other and find out, keep talking and asking questions, there is always
something new to learn about in your partner everyday.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Could it be that this immaturity idea is getting in my head?
A Question from one of my bloggers.
Random Angie:
" I also have a question in regards to when would you consider someone is ready for marriage? I'm 23 and at times I think I might be too immature for it still. I grew up an over protected child but I know I still have a lot of learning to do. And The Holy Spirit is helping me grow day by day.
Even my parents say I don't act my age. I like to laugh and joke. That's just my personality.
Yet not with my spiritually. They see the seriousness in that. My salvation is my priority.
Could it be that this immaturity idea is getting in my head?
You mentioned you and your sister were only 12 when you both began praying for your love life.
Is there a certain guide to know you are ready?
I do want to find that man that God chose for me but at times I think I might have some growing to do.
I guess just the results of being so overprotected growing up. I am praying to God to help me be more independent but nonetheless I want to hear from you."
Hello Random Angie and thanks for the question.
First let me start of by saying; Marriage takes hard work.
I don't think you could ever be perfectly ready enough for marriage. But yes, there are steps you can take to help you in the process. It depends in what country you are in, but here in Texas, U.S.A they have what is called 'Marriage course' for those who are married and for those who want to prepare for marriage. Also there is the book "Bullet proof marriage" coming out soon by Bp. Renato and Mrs. Cristiane Cardoso. This is a must read whether you are married or not. It will help prepare you for the work ahead.....
Now, lets talk about your immaturity!
Angie, I honestly believe that for you to become mature, you have to be put in a situation that will make you become mature.
Maturity can not be learned or practiced. It comes with life's experiences, it comes with responsibilities.
Time and time again, my sister and I were constantly being called immature. And this is even after we got married, because we too grew up overprotected and spoiled rotten. I remember trying so hard not to be immature and I was still immature in peoples eyes. Until I said to myself, you know what, I'm not going to be worried about what people say. I am going to do my part and have my relationship with God, and as time goes by, God will mold me.
That's exactly what happened!
Maturity comes with you having responsibilities. And as life goes by you get more and more mature. But, it would help if you take a long hard look at yourself and see what are things you can change in you to make you more of God. Like if you notice people are always talking about how loud you laugh. Then that's something you can change due to the fact that that's not being discreet as the bible mentions we must be. Ask yourself, what are responsibilities you can take and go after so you can be able to grow in maturity?
Yes.....I do think you are over thinking this maturity thing
Maturity comes through experiences Angie.
How are you going to become mature, if you don't get to learn any experiences of your own in life ??? Experiences such as marriage!
Again, Thanks for the awesome question
Random Angie:
A grown man licking his tongue at someone. If that's not immature, I don't know what is! |
Even my parents say I don't act my age. I like to laugh and joke. That's just my personality.
Yet not with my spiritually. They see the seriousness in that. My salvation is my priority.
Could it be that this immaturity idea is getting in my head?
You mentioned you and your sister were only 12 when you both began praying for your love life.
Is there a certain guide to know you are ready?
I do want to find that man that God chose for me but at times I think I might have some growing to do.
I guess just the results of being so overprotected growing up. I am praying to God to help me be more independent but nonetheless I want to hear from you."
A police officer, men of respect, just doing a little dance in the middle of the street. Immature! |
Hello Random Angie and thanks for the question.
First let me start of by saying; Marriage takes hard work.
I don't think you could ever be perfectly ready enough for marriage. But yes, there are steps you can take to help you in the process. It depends in what country you are in, but here in Texas, U.S.A they have what is called 'Marriage course' for those who are married and for those who want to prepare for marriage. Also there is the book "Bullet proof marriage" coming out soon by Bp. Renato and Mrs. Cristiane Cardoso. This is a must read whether you are married or not. It will help prepare you for the work ahead.....
Now, lets talk about your immaturity!
Angie, I honestly believe that for you to become mature, you have to be put in a situation that will make you become mature.
Maturity can not be learned or practiced. It comes with life's experiences, it comes with responsibilities.
Time and time again, my sister and I were constantly being called immature. And this is even after we got married, because we too grew up overprotected and spoiled rotten. I remember trying so hard not to be immature and I was still immature in peoples eyes. Until I said to myself, you know what, I'm not going to be worried about what people say. I am going to do my part and have my relationship with God, and as time goes by, God will mold me.
That's exactly what happened!
Maturity comes with you having responsibilities. And as life goes by you get more and more mature. But, it would help if you take a long hard look at yourself and see what are things you can change in you to make you more of God. Like if you notice people are always talking about how loud you laugh. Then that's something you can change due to the fact that that's not being discreet as the bible mentions we must be. Ask yourself, what are responsibilities you can take and go after so you can be able to grow in maturity?
Yes.....I do think you are over thinking this maturity thing
Maturity comes through experiences Angie.
How are you going to become mature, if you don't get to learn any experiences of your own in life ??? Experiences such as marriage!
Again, Thanks for the awesome question
Monday, October 7, 2013
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Have you read the older posts? Go check it out and take advantage of all the features that this blog has to offer. Have any questions or has anything on this blog helped you to open your eyes when it comes to finding the right person? You can also feel free to email me at elsienleonardo@yahoo.com and let me know what you think, your question or how it has helped you.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
God Bless
Elsie
Sunday, October 6, 2013
GENTLEMAN.....Make a move
By this time, the two of you should
have already been on a few dates and exchanged phone numbers. You should
already know a lot about your partner, now its time to break the ice. Call your
partner everyday if possible, ask when is the best time to call. Speak to him/her
for a few minutes everyday until your next date, there is nothing wrong with
calling everyday, in fact this should be done to get you two comfortable with
each other. Make conversation, a dialogue with the two of you talking and not just
one of you talking the whole time. Make this a habit because this is what is going to be going on everyday
until the two of you get
married. Conversation helps you stay in touch with what is going on in each others life daily and it also helps you two fall in love a lot quicker. It’s almost like being on a date everyday. If you both are in the same church and you see each other everyday, then that’s ok, if you have time during the day to talk, then talk. But if your working hard and only have time to say a quick Hi, for a short time then that’s not considered talking, so you should call each other at the best time and talk for just a few more minutes. Ask how was their day, what new things did they learn from the bible, talk to your partner and tell him/her that you were thinking about them and can’t wait to see him/her, and so on. Show your excitement and interest towards them.
married. Conversation helps you stay in touch with what is going on in each others life daily and it also helps you two fall in love a lot quicker. It’s almost like being on a date everyday. If you both are in the same church and you see each other everyday, then that’s ok, if you have time during the day to talk, then talk. But if your working hard and only have time to say a quick Hi, for a short time then that’s not considered talking, so you should call each other at the best time and talk for just a few more minutes. Ask how was their day, what new things did they learn from the bible, talk to your partner and tell him/her that you were thinking about them and can’t wait to see him/her, and so on. Show your excitement and interest towards them.
GENTLEMAN
this time take your lady to a
better place such as the movie to see a comedy or action. Talk to her
during the week and converse with her on where she would like to be taken on
the next date. Ask her to prepare a little snack and take her to the park for a
little picnic. Go to a simple amusement park where there are roller coaster
rides or to a local fair. This time, make the move to hold her hands. Start of slow. She may
probably start to giggle and become shy, but that’s a good thing as long as you
are the one making the moves. Hold her hands first. Make that a routine thing to do in public. Bring her close to you and hold her hands. That's about all for now. Don't rush into things....First just hold her hands.
As always, hold the doors for her and let her go
first, make her feel like a princess. Tell her how beautiful you think she is,
tell her what you like about her like her hair or her eyes, her feet, her
hands, her arms, her personality, the way she laughs etc, whatever you like
about her, now is the time to let her know.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Dump a person just because of a difference in taste???
The reason why we tend to First
look at things in our partner that we dislike, is because we get nervous. We know
that this is something that will affect us for the rest of our lives.
Therefore, we start trying to protect ourselves by judging the one God chose
for us.
Don’t worry, God has everything
under control. You will fall in love. Maybe the same thing happened when your
partner first set eyes on you. Everything will work out just fine. God has a plan for
all of us. He chose your partner for you and you for your partner. If you still feel
nervous about it, pray, ask God to help you trust in Him, ask Him to help you
fall in love and to stop looking at what you don’t like but to help you look at
what you do like. Because physical attraction is also very important.
As mentioned before, prayer brings the result to everything. Maybe the
type of clothes your partner likes to wear is not the type of clothes you like for him/her to wear, but
he/she is a sweet person and very handsome/beautiful. Are you going to dump
that person just because of a difference in taste.
Of course not!
Style is
something that can always be altered but it’s not always that you can find such
a sweet person full of the Holy Spirit. Later on into the
relationship, pray, then little by little you can talk to your partner about it
and because the two of you will be so much in love he/she will start to change
just for you and it would be more of a pleasure then an obligation for your
partner to do this for you.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Learn from experience
One of my bloggers commented on my last post.
I found this to be pretty interesting.
Please read below:
Dear Mrs Elsie
This post speaks volumes. I have always had an image of the kind of man I wanted God to bless me with. Funny thing, is that I got the exact thing, but spiritually he was not well. I was so focussed on how he should look like, instead of Who he should have inside of him.
Now I have learned to ask God for a man of God. Someone with a heart after His Own. Most importantly I have learned to seek God more than I seek a future husband! He should be my first Husband.
Thanks for this post. God bless
Posted by Lisa Gumada
I found this to be pretty interesting.
Please read below:
Dear Mrs Elsie
This post speaks volumes. I have always had an image of the kind of man I wanted God to bless me with. Funny thing, is that I got the exact thing, but spiritually he was not well. I was so focussed on how he should look like, instead of Who he should have inside of him.
Now I have learned to ask God for a man of God. Someone with a heart after His Own. Most importantly I have learned to seek God more than I seek a future husband! He should be my first Husband.
Thanks for this post. God bless
Posted by Lisa Gumada
Friday, September 27, 2013
Have you ever heard that phrase - Don't judge a book by its cover?
What a little make up can do |
You don’t need to tell anyone else
about your deep dark secrets, but you do need to talk about it to your partner (this is assuming you spoke to God about it too). Your partner has every right to know. Don't hide anything, be honest and sincere no matter how bad it was or how much it
hurts. This is not someone who is going to sit there and judge you; this is
someone who is trying to find out about you to be able to make you happy. Let
your partner know what your likes and dislikes are in everything, but most importantly, in a
relationship. Don't be nervous, act yourself so your partner can see who you are,
don’t try to be someone you are not.
Fat can be transformed into muscles |
When I met Leonardo I was a little nervous, it’s normal to be
nervous because this is something new. However, I remembered I had to calm down
and act myself so Leonardo could know the type of person I really am. I don’t
think he was nervous, and if he was, he didn’t show it. He was the one that
made me laugh and helped me calm down. I still remember when I first met him,
my parents were by my side and I was just standing there while everyone else
was sitting down, then he said “Please, Elsie come sit here next to me.” Oh
man, I thought I was going to die, I was so nervous that I sat next to him but
I began playing with my hair, I began getting itchy, I began to fix my skirt
and dusting off my shoes, I began doing so much things. Then he saw that I was
nervous and said “Elsie, what’s wrong, are you nervous?” and I said “Yes, just
a little” so he smiled and said “Its ok, relax, there is nothing to be nervous
about” that helped me to calm down and I wasn’t nervous
anymore.
When this special someone comes to you, it's
normal for you to start checking him/her out but don't start judging.
Have you
ever heard that phrase – Don’t judge a book by its cover?
This means, don't judge your partner by what you expected of him/her. Maybe to you, the woman of your dreams is suppose to have thick eyebrows and the partner God gave you has thinner eyebrows
then you expected, maybe in your dreams your partner has 20/20 vision but the one
God gave you wears glasses, maybe you wanted a man with a tremendous six pack
and big biceps and God gave you a man fifteen pounds overweight; does this
mean that God messed up and gave you the wrong partner?
Of course not! Looks can be deceiving!
What counts the most is what is
on the inside. Of course, appearance is also important for a woman and man of
God, but in first place comes Spirituality. Don’t judge your partner by what you
see and dislike, but instead look for things in him/her that you DO like. The
things you like will overpower the things you don’t really like.
Thin eyebrows can grow out to become thicker eyebrows, glasses can be replaced with
contact lenses, fifteen pounds overweight can be transformed into a tremendous
six pack and big biceps through exercise and lifting weights.
Look for things
you like, like the character and the way he/she talks to you, their dedication in
doing the work of God, the way he/she treats you, anything! Remember, whatever you
dislike can always be fixed with a change of hair do, a little lifting
weights, a little make -up and so on. Don’t let this bother you, put the spirituality
first because this is what’s hard to find.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my love
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.....
Today is our 8th year anniversary and I wanted to take this moment to let my husband know how much I love him!
Leo,
I love you very much, and Thank you for all your patience with me.
It hasn't always been easy, in fact marriage has been really hard. We took forever to adapt with each other.
But we did it!
We've made it this far, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.
Love always
Elsie
Today is our 8th year anniversary and I wanted to take this moment to let my husband know how much I love him!
Leo,
I love you very much, and Thank you for all your patience with me.
It hasn't always been easy, in fact marriage has been really hard. We took forever to adapt with each other.
But we did it!
We've made it this far, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.
Love always
Elsie
Monday, September 23, 2013
What can a couple do in the 'Fast of Daniel'
One of my bloggers named Lisa Gumada had an interesting question that I think all of you could benefit from as well.
Her question was: "regarding things like the Fast of Daniel, what kind of purposes can a couple do together, with the aim of growing more in their spiritual lives?"
Lisa,
Thanks for commenting.
To answer your question, I think that in a purpose such as the Fast of Daniel. If a couple is dating they can make some sort of dating sacrifice to bless not only their spiritual life but also their relationship.
Sacrifice is always good. It hurts but always pays off in the long run.
Sacrifices that could be done while dating are things like:
*No calling each other until the fast is over and only going out together like once a week.
*No dating but only calling each other like once a week until the fasting is over
If you want a REAL CHALLENGE and you want to go all out
*No dating or calling each other at all until the fasting is over.
Of course, don't get me wrong, if you cross by your partner in the church or in the street it doesn't mean you have to ignore them. But the whole concept is to do your sacrifice.
If a couple is married
Then maybe the two of you can seek the Holy Spirit at home together everyday throughout the Fast of Daniel.
This will help you get stronger in your primary relationship with God
I hope that answers your question Lisa
Friday, September 20, 2013
Meeting your partner, and how about that FIRST DATE
When God sends you your partner, it is
the most amazing thing you could imagine. It is the result of your sacrifices.
This is your partner! If you did everything you were supposed to, then you can be
assured that this person is not going anywhere, whatever God gives, the devil
cannot take away. But remember, God only protects what’s yours when you follow
Him. If you decide to slack in your relationship with God and say “ohhh, now I
have my partner that’s all I wanted, so now I am happy”, or “Now I can sit back
and relax because my partner is not going anywhere” WRONG! if you slack, your
partner will be taken from you and given to someone else more spiritual then you. You will lose out.
Also, it is very important to keep your pastor informed on your
sentimental life . Its a MUST, because he can pray for you and with God’s direction he will
direct you.
When you finally meet your partner for the first time greet him/her
properly, introduce yourself, don’t keep thinking or saying "This is hard to
believe" because its not. God gave you your answer, in His words it does say
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the father may
be glorified in the son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it” John
14:13-14 (NKJ).
Realize that God says two times
that whatever we ask He will do. So don’t think "This is hard to believe" because it
makes God sad, it makes Him think you don’t believe in His power.
*** Gentlemen... when you
first meet your lady and all is well, ask her out on a date. A simple one to
start off, just so the two of you can talk a little.
Both of you need to 'Test the spirit !' you don’t
know her, she doesn’t know you, so test each others spirit. How do you test the spirit??? Occasionally do
something to see his/her reaction. Find out what’s their main purpose in this
relationship, if it’s just for the sex after marriage or if it’s to spend the
rest of your lives together happily married and having a great companion by
your side. Ask your partner straight forward questions, anything that you need to
know or are interested in knowing. Do
things to see their reaction and compare it to that of a woman or man of God.
However he/she reacts you can multiply it by ten and that is how their
reaction will be when the two of you are married.
When on a date, ALWAYS go to well
populated areas, on the first date do something very simple so the two of you
can do nothing else but talk. Grab a bite to eat, go for a nice little walk in
the park, something simple. Its better if the two of you don’t even share food
or hold hands on the first date, it just makes it better so the two of you can
talk and not be so nervous. Save the holding hands for the next date. Go out
and talk, talk, talk and talk on this date, get to know everything about each
other that way by the second date the two of you will feel a bit more
comfortable together. In this stage, talking is everything; you have to talk as
much as you can to one another. Ask questions, talk about how God made the two
of you meet, talk about what you were doing in order for God to
bless your sentimental life, and express how happy you are to have found this
special person, avoid talking about the bible all the time concentrate on talking
about yourselves because your trying to learn about each other.
Ask many questions, as much as you can, main questions are:
"How old are you?"
"What's your highest
level of education ?"
"Tell me a little about your family?"
"What animals do you like?
"What's your nationality?"
"What are your hobbies?"
"What are your favorite foods?"
" Can you cook?"
"When did you come to church?"
"What is your testimony, your background?"
"Were you baptized in water and with the Holy Spirit? If so then when?"
"Is there an interest in doing the work of God? and/or how far do they
intend on going in the work of God?"
"Where do you work?"
"How long have you been employed there?"
"Do you
evangelize?"
"Were you ever in a relationship before? if so, what
went wrong?"
"Do you still have any feelings for your previous partner?"
"Do you have kids?"
"Do you want kids?"
and so on....
Ask many questions. Questions on top of questions and allow your partner to ask many
questions too. If any personal questions are asked, questions regarding previous relationships, don’t hesitate to answer, even if it
hurts... Your current partner will end up mending that broken heart of yours, but in order to
mend your broken heart you have to allow your partner into your deepest secrets. This is probably something you never spoke about to anyone, and probably planned on
never entering that subject again. But for your partner, You have too!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Run... and run as fast as you can!
This is part two.
DEAD by falling into one of
the devil’s many schemes or ALIVE by being victorious and more persistent than
the devil. I was determined to overcome and was not about to let the devil
bring me down. When the devil realizes your determination, he will try his all to make you
fall. The same thing happened to my sister Elise, so I know what I'm talking about. In school there was
this boy, very handsome, light-skinned, dark blonde curly
hair, blue eyes, that all the girls melted when they saw him, but guess what!
He didn’t want none of the other girls he wanted my sister Elise. He wanted to have her, when he asked my sister out, he
couldn’t believe his ears when my sister told him No!
To understand this post, you have to go back and read my post
'Don't despise someone who asks you out'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DON'T GET TRAPPED |
Moreover, that’s exactly what happened! She left him alone and he did
all this on his own. He became delivered from his problems, he found her and they got married.
But be careful, because at the time of your determination and consistent prayers
the devil will try to send many wrong people your way to trap you as he tried
doing to me. When I was determined to save myself for a man of God, its like the devil would try to stop me. The men he would send at this point weren’t like the others. These men were now more
persistent. I would say NO and give them the same speech I gave the others but
they didn’t care, they kept coming back and kept asking me the same questions
as if they didn’t hear me say NO the first time. They kept asking if I would go
out with them, if I wanted to see the game with them, if I wanted to meet their
family and so on. This would just get me even more revolted because on their
face you could see that the only thing they were interested in was sex, it was
written all over their face, it wasn’t just one or two of these men but there
were about seven and they were persistent.
It was unbelievable how these men were just throwing themselves at me. And it was back to back. But I
knew it was a trap of the devil to try and distract me from my goal of having my man of God by my side.
I know that if I wasn’t in
constant communion with God and constant wars every hour stomping on the
devil’s head, I would have failed. I would have fallen into one of these traps
of the devil and wouldn’t be able to pick myself back up. If I would have left
an opening by slacking in my prayers and giving a foot hold to the devil for
him to get into my life, by today I would be a wreck. It’s a good thing that
I knew what I was getting myself into – WAR – but it wasn’t against flesh and
blood but against satan himself
“For we are not fighting against people made
of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule
this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms” Ephesians
6:12 (NLT).
Once you get into war there is only one of two
ways out, DEAD or ALIVE!
Anyways....After constant prayers
and persistence, after my sacrifice in the Campaign of Israel exactly four
months later then my sister Elise, I Elsie found my partner, Assistant Pastor
Leonardo. I was introduced to him by his father ( Bp. Francisco) and my dad
(Pr. Nathaniel),who by the way was drawn into me by my smile (this is where the post I wrote about always looking your best at all times comes in very handy). Bp. Fransisco and my dad
organized the whole thing to get us to meet. The next thing I knew I was in the arms of Leo,
just like it happened to Rebekah and Isaac (Genesis 24). And to our surprise
we actually met before, we met each other in South Africa many years ago, about
fifteen years ago when we were still young. We used to play together along with all
the other children (because our parents were always traveling to preach the
Good news, so this is when our parents were sent to Africa to do the work of
God, and we met there).
Look how great God works!
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